Friday, December 15, 2006

mid life crisis?

I hope that when ‘mid life crisis’ occurs to any of my close friends from now onwards…. They would not change or gives us a cold shoulder.

If they would like to take time off from hanging with us.. that’s fine.
But don’t cut us off directly (it’s debatable). Depending on how you look at it.
I suppose that the idea of this situation did not come across my mind at all.
Never in a million years….
I never thought that it would turn out like this. Probably we’ve know each other for so long and when we talk, we talk crap.
And after one and half months of not meeting up, being presented with an iPod Nano and talking cautiously and politely from a dear old friend is really weird. Really …. really weird.

It’s sad that this is happening. Who would have thought that being friends for 14 years… our friendship is over… ended with an iPod Nano.
I really do hope that this is not the end of our friendship.

And I do hope that this just a temporary thingy and when the ‘mid life crisis’ has ends, the whole situation would be back to the good old days.

I think I would be able to get back to the good old days… but it would be a whole different story for JT.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

a blog reader

Every time when something happens… the first thing that I think of is blogging about it.
But when the time comes… sitting in front of the monitor… I tend to surf and read people’s blog. Then my mood to blog about what had happen, vanished in to thin air.

Friday, December 1, 2006

humans are human

It amazes me that some people can get so sensitive.
What comes around and goes around.
Haven’t you heard of it?

If one can criticize another person without thinking about the other persons feeling,
Then you should accept other people’s criticism. Rite?

I just don’t get it…

Thursday, November 23, 2006

i need a cure

Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me… in Health wise that is!

Even thou I love extreme sports … I can’t do it, or as much or as religiously as I want to.

Because I’ve manage to injure myself once in a while without knowing what’s the cause of it. And that stops me from doing all the things that I wanna do… and getting sick at least once a month is not fun. Even thou it’s just the flu or cold or fever.

It all happened when I was 14.
I injured my spine and got my self a slight slipped disc on my lower back.
The pain was unbearable. Till now I still do get a slight pain on and off when I do not sit or stand properly.

There goes no diving, no surfing, bungie jumping, no backpacking….

Then another ‘somehow’ I manage to injure (twisted) my wrist.

As years pass by, one day while walking on the streets…
I MANAGE to fracture my toe bone!!
Don’t ask me how I did I. But I did it.
I fractured my right Big Toe Bone! I had to use the crutches for a month and i had to stay home practically every day. I had to make sure that the places that I go to don’t have much stairs. Imagine walking down the stairs and the only thing that you can depend on is the crutches that you’re using and the person next to you.
I remembered my lesson.
Went to watch a movie Summit. Why Summit? Cos it was near my place… so instead of all the hassle of walking around in a pack shopping mall. We decided to go where there weren’t much people. The moment we bought the tickets and took a glimpse of the entrance…. I realize that I was going to be in big trouble. The cinema was at the 3rd floor and the only way to get up is throu 3 escalators. And on top of that… our seats was on the top!! * SLAP my self *
If you’ve been to the Summit GSC then you would know how many steps there is in that THX cinema. Climbing that stairs up to our seat took me ages. I felt like a 80 year old grandma!

Then I realize that there isn’t much facilities provided for handicap people. Why huh?
These people deserve to enjoy and experience a good movie at the cinema!!

And now…. My right wrist.
There’s a lump that looks like a bone which is jutting out.
Yes! It hurts… if you wanna know.
Went to the doc the other day cos of my bad flu. I asked him if it was normal to have this lumpy thingy on my wrist.

“ You have to go to an Xray and then we would know what is wrong? It might be a cyst.”

A CYCST !!!!
You gotta be kidding me!!

“Come back next week and I’ll write you letter for an XRay”
The thing is that, when he said it. He sounded so calm! Which is good. Cos it might not be a cyst. He might just want to inform me that IT MIGHT be….
But then again, if you’re not even sure…don’t say it’s a cyst! You are bloody freaking out your patients for no reason.

I’m freaking as day goes by with the slight pain on the wrist increases in and out… I guess I just have to no worry so much about it until i go get an Xray next.

Friday, November 17, 2006

home safe again?

Finally after a week of living in fear, the contractor has fixed the gate. After 10 days, after all the visits from the drug addict. He came the second time, this time he was sober, and he asked for money and stole my mother’s sport shoe.

I never thought that these things would happen at my neighbor hood.

House got hit by a car. Our house is not even located at the T-Juction.
Driver and passenger were stoned high!.
Passenger of the car has the guts to come back to the crime scene to ask for money.

Now home is safe again. Well, at least every one feels secure now.
A brand new gate.
A brand new grill.
A brand new sliding door.

Thursday, November 9, 2006

weird but true

Home used to be the safest place for me until now.
On Monday, my house kena bang.

YES! Until yesterday, i found it funny to tell friends that my house kena bang.

Most of them would ask the same thing.
Huh!? What you mean kena bang?

YES! Thru the gate, to the grills on the sliding door panel.
The glasses on the door panel were all shatter on the floor.

While waiting for my dad to come back from the police station, my mom couldn’t take it anymore. She went to my neighbor’s place to find out what had happed to our house.

The driver and the passenger were high on drugs and some how or rather they managed to slam their car into my house.
No one was at home at that time. Thank God!

They panicked and drove off.
The funny thing is that they came back with some stitches on the passenger’s head.
(They must have gone to the clinic near by)
They came back because the driver dropped his handphone.
Haii yorr….

This time the car died on the spot. Panicked again.
They ran on foot.

A Singh couple and an Indian guy came by at 7 plus. Brother and sister with their car repair man.

They came back hoping to get the car started. On top of that, he was hoping to recover back his door panel that somehow or rather came off when the incidents happen.

Trying to figure out who and what the hell actually happened. He claimed that his two friends drove the car. And the car belongs to his girlfriend. He couldn't give his handphone number because he claim that his handphone and wallet is missing as well.
He then claimed that he has made a police report. But when my dad came back from the police station, he said that he would go make a police report.
What the!!??? Something doesn’t seem right.

They went off after finding out that they couldn’t get the car started at all.

The car was toll in the middle of the night and my dad managed to get the address of the workshop of the toll truck service. The next day, the adjuster came by to the house to take pictures. They went to the workshop and took some pictures of the car as well.
The Singh and the car owner, which was his girlfriend was there as well.
In the end, he confessed that he was the driver. And on top of that, he was driving without license.
Guess whom he confessed to? He confessed to the adjuster!!

Thank god that my dad bought an insurance for the house. If not then…
And Thank God that no one was injured!
The only problem that I’m worried about is our safety.

The passenger from the car incident came by to our house yesterday night. Stoned high!
Sat down in front of our door, asking for his friend. (the driver) Sat down for a whole 40 minutes. Didn’t want to leave, keep asking for his friend. He then gave up asking for his friend, and then asked for money to go back home!
2 minutes before the drug police came…he left the scene.

From all the incident, I found out something new.

When you have a drug addict hanging around your house, don’t call the Police.
Cos they wouldn’t be able to help you. * shock *
It’s not under their control. It’s under the drug center’s department.

The last time I remember when I was about 7-9 years old, still staying at my old house in PJ. A drug addict came to our house and started hanging out in front of the door. He kept asking for money, when my mom ignored him, he started banging the grill door. It really freaked my mother out. Being a kid at that age, I didn’t really know what was going on. All I could remember was, he wore a torn shirt and pants. Looking all dirty.

I really wish the world we would be a safer place for our children.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

free things don't last

It’s sad that free things don’t last. I’ve just received a message from Flickr that my free account will only show my latest 200 pictures. (Only 200!! hhmm.... )

The rest of the pictures would be behind some dark and spooky, isolated place where no one would be able to visit… * sob Sob sob * damn!...

Hhmmm.. any one out there in the cyber world would be generous enough to sponsor me a Flickr

Thursday, August 24, 2006

i just don't know...

Originally uploaded by melmok.
I’ve been feeling shity for the past few days. Probably it’s after the holiday syndrome, but it’s been a week now since I came back.

After all the loud music blasting thru my earphones… and the inhaling of ‘fresh air’, I realize that what Jelly said really HIT me. Yeahh yeah… a lot of them have asked me again and again.... “What the hell am I doing here?”

“Go back to Ad line!”
“You’re wasting your time here in that company!”
“You’re gonna loose out more if you keep on staying in that company”

I’m starting to lose my patience here. Day by day I’m beginning to hate this place.
I’m beginning to hate this uniform that I’m wearing!.
Yes!! I’m a designer and I need to wear uniform!
F***ing UNIFORM!!

What kind of designer wears uniform!!??? Uniform does not exist in our dictionary!
Yes, we do save on clothing expenses. But…c’mon…!!! UNIFORM!!!

I’ve been practically doing the same thing again and again for the past 1 1/2 years here…
And did I mention that my patience is running out day by day?

This is the point in my life that I have no freaking idea what to do for the next 30 more years to come(actually.. all i want to do is to bum at the beach..and do nothing.....), that’s if I do manage to live by that age.

Jack of all traders, Master of None.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Originally uploaded by melmok.
I miss the villa that we stayed at in Phuket. It turns out that the villa that we’re paid for had some problems with the swimming pool. So the owner( i think) placed us at a nicer villa, which we wanted in the first place! The reason that we didn’t take the nicer villa was because of the $$$. It cost double of the place that we’ve paid for.

Mostly of us was looking forward to come back with perfect suntan but unfortunately we only manage ‘suntan’ on the first day that we arrived. Boo hooo…
Not a right time to go to an island during raining season…
blame it on IanLCC and Elayne. Why do their birthdays have to fall on the raining season? Sob sob sob…. Or probably why Phuket at this time!!??

But the villa made it all enjoyable..... (sigh.. i miss the place...)

Anyways, had a balance of fun from both groups…
Got pissed ‘high’ from alcohol. (from the drinking group)
Had my first Thai massage. (from the spa/massage group)

Yup… 2 groups…. 1 group who likes massages and the other who hates it. And I’m in between. I only like massages when I really need it.

Friday, August 4, 2006


Originally uploaded by melmok.
Found out that I could have gotten a better deal for the package of 350D yesterday.
I could have save RM350++ and could have gotten a nice lowpro sling bag. Damn!!...

Have only managed to try out the camera last weekend. And I sucked at it with that camera. Well, I guess its practice, practice, and practice….

I wish I could say that “I can’t wait to go Phuket!!’ all excited and stuffs.
But I can’t. I wonder why. Everyone is all hype up with the trip and I’m the only that don’t feel a thing. It’s not like I’m not looking forward to Phuket, it’s just that I don’t feel excited about it at all. More into worrying about taking care of the brand new camera that I’m going to bring along to the trip. I WANNA take nice pictures!...

And on top of that, I’m starting to feel that I’m wasting my time here in this company. I’m testing my patience’s and it’s running out week by week.
Where can I find a job that pays me what I’m getting now and get to do what I wanna do that is designing what I wanna design, take pictures and travel. LOL…

Tonight I shall go back and have a early night and dream about it!.
And that’s if I can sleep early tonight!

Monday, July 24, 2006


I finally got myself a 350D!! Woo Hoo… now I’m just waiting for the free lens from Canon.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

SG trip

The last time I went touring in SG was when I was 12years old. Evers since then it was always walking along the Orchard Road.

Finally, I manage to walk around other parts of Singapore other then The Orchard Road.

The flight was supposed to be at 8.15am. Due to the traffic in the air, the flight was delayed for 50 mins. Wait and wait and wait for the plane to take off.
Finally reached SG at about 10am. Was trying to find ways to call Em from SG to inform her about the flight delayed. Messages from Maxis keeps beeping in, informing me how to call and sms back home but nothing on calling a SG telephone line. What the !!??

Luckily, the nice taxi driver was kind enough to lend me his hp to call Em. Reported in with an apology and then headed to the store visit ‘trip’. Walked walked… and walked.

By the time it ended, it was already 6.00pm. Checked in to the hotel at 6.30. My legs were tired. All I needed was a good shower. Didn’t really felt like walking anymore but I had set a meeting with Foon earlier on. On top of that my dear ‘yee ma’ has arrive on the very same day I landed. Bloody hell. Why now!?!

When I checked in to the hotel, they told me that someone would bring me up to register.
……Wah…. they have some kind of hi-tech door key that they need to register into before I can actually get into the room. …..

The traffic at the lift area was freaking long…. Due to some function that was going on. Some association has occupied about 100 over rooms for the function.
Wait wait wait…. Door lif open…. But pack of humans…
Wait wait wait…. Again another door lif open…
Damn! More humans!!

I was about to suggest to the lady who was responsible to take me up to my room to walk up .. work out some fats…. When I found out that my room was located on the 33rd floor. OKAY.. bye bye walking up stairs…

Wait wait wait… and finally 1 of the lifts was available to the poor restless humans waiting at the ground floor.

All I could think of is takeing of those heels and rest my feet…. Take a long shower…… and lye down before meeting up with Foon…………..

When the door lifts open, there were 3 people, smiling and welcoming me. A glass of juice and a towel was on the table.
‘Welcome Ms. Mok”
“How was your flight, Ms. Mok”
“Please take a sit Ms.Mok”

ARgghhh!! I just want to go to my room!!!......

“Firstly we would like to welcome you to Pan Pacific…. Blahh blahh blahhh…….”

First I heard something about special rate… then $315 SG dollar… then free upgraded room…. then with balcony view….

I started to panic, just tell me that the room rate is the same price.*panic* *panic*
“Can I confirm with you again, what’s the room rate for tonight?” I asked.

“Oh Ms. Mok, it is still the same SG$215.00”….


then blah blahh blah…… from them again. I wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying.

“Let me bring you to the room” one of the lady said.

For the first time, I have a brief throu on a room.
Where’s where. What kinda of service they provide.
Mini bar is complimentary, fruits is complimentary, tea break is served from 3.00 - 5or 6 I think, cocktails is served from 6.30-8plus… and from 8plus – 10.00 is liquar… at the privilege lounge.

“Oouuhh… NICE” I thought to myself… FREE LIQUAR!!..... but then it’s either free drink or dinner with foon.. hmm… Thank god that I didn’t had the mood for drinks… if not, I would have beaten my self up… hahhaha timing.. timing… timing..

Met up with Foon for dinner. Walked around Marina Square, Raffles Mall and then head to Chijmes for some drinks…

chapel II
Originally uploaded by melmok.

By the time I got back to the hotel, it was already almost 12. Grabbed a few snacks from the privilege lounge, head back to the room and took a longggg nice shower.

The next morning, I was so tempted to just relax at the hotel room until I really had to check out. But I manage to drag my self to walk around Esplanade. Took some pictures… and by the time I was finish. It was time to check out. Stuffed everything that I could in the backpack and head off to Takashimaya to check out the bookstore.

Walked around without any problems. But by 3pm… my shoulders were aching… I guess I have to forget about my backpacking trip in future.

Asked around if I could make it to the airport by 6.00 if I were to take a cab from Takashimaya at 5plus…. And everyone told me that I should leave before 5 cos, it would be a problem to catch a cab at that hour with the heavy ‘human’ traffic.

Finally max my self up till 4.30 and took a cab to the airport.
My whole body was numb with all the carrying and walking. Checked out the Duty free mall at the Changi Airport with the trolley ……. Ahh……Heaven on my shoulders….

Carrying the backpack wasn’t such a bad idea, even thou it gave a bad shoulder ache, but it stopped me from buying unnecessary things and spending less.
I only bought a pair of sandal for KY and I.

I wish I could stay longer in the hotel. The service was wonderful. I guess I would have to wait for another opportunity to stay in a privilege room like that.

Wednesday, July 5, 2006


It sucks at work when you have to key in your id number + password every time when you want to log in to any web sites! Now I have to stare at the monitor when I have nothing to do or when I’m brain dead.

On the other hand, I’m going to another ‘business trip’. Singapore this time. Was suppose to go to Philippines, but my manager went on behalf of the graphic team. Going to Singapore at this time gives me more excuse to spend more. Cos it’s the Singapore Great Sale! I shall only spend necessary. And I shall remind myself every time when I pass by the malls and shops, that I’ll only spend on necessary stuffs… Things that I can’t get in Malaysia and probably just some nice tops …. And maybe a pair of shoe and a nice sandal to replace my torn Reef sandal… birthday present for KY. Arghh.!!!.. It has started… my list… of ‘Things To Buy’. No… no… no…

I shall control my self and have some financial discipline!.. I doubt that I would have the time and spirit to shop since the only reason that I’m going there is to do market survey on the booths and design stuffs there. Meetings and store visits the whole day.

I got the confirmation on the reservation of the hotel yesterday. The booking was done on the SG side. All I had to do was to let them know what time I’ll be arriving at the airport. I got a shock when I receive the reservation letter from SG. The cheapest room in the hotel has been all fully taken. And the second cheapest room cost SG$ 215.00!! Not including the taxes, service charge and GST. That would be RM495 a night.


Instantly, I felt really remorseful. I emailed SG side and asked them to recommend another alternative hotel to stay in.

“Slightly cheaper”.. I said. “It might be slight over the budget”…..

I ‘reported’ the hotel issue to my boss. Asked him if there’s any limitation on the hotel stay. Told him about the charges and I wouldn’t mind to look for another cheaper hotel on my own since the SG side is busy preparing for the budget meeting. Shockingly and I’m still in SHOCK… that he say GO AHEAD.

“Please stay in a nice hotel. You would be tired at the end of the day and I would like you to have a good rest…”

My jaw practically dropped and my eye was about to pop out! (Even though my eyes are really small)

“While I was on business trip in America….. blahh blahh blahh…. The subsidiary company “XXXXX” in America, arrange a very nice and expensive hotel for me…. Blah blah blah….” he continued. Still felt guilty after hearing his approval.

I had to email SG side again to tell her to ignore my previous mail cos my boss said it was okay to stay at that hotel. She must think that I’m pretty troublesome. Oh well…

I AM still feeling bad about it. About the RM495 per room thingy!
There goes the year-end bonus. Apparently, my colleagues told me that this company tends to give you less bonus at the end of the year if you’re given the chance to travel. They would use this as an excuse.

Is that common in other companies?

I shall enjoy it for now then…

Thursday, June 22, 2006

my reefs

My reef sandals have finally gone to heaven. It’s been with me for 8 years.. YES! 8 years!!. It was a present given to me by my ex. I guess it s time. 8 freaking years. I love that sandal. It has served me well. Through good and bad times.

I guess nothing last forever. Heh?
I wonder what he’s been up too lately. The phrase “ let’s be friends” after the break up doesn’t apply on this one. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.

Now I have to scout for a good pair of long lasting sandals. Which I doubt it would last me for another 8 years. We shall see…

Friday, June 2, 2006

back in malaysia

Originally uploaded by melisamok.

It’s been 3 days since I came back from my Indon trip. Had to rush out the report before boss leaves for Egypt.
Honestly, I didn’t really enjoy the trip and i didn't have the mood to take pictures. Probably it was a business trip and it's not a holiday. It was stressful and tiring.

We arrived at Jakarta at about 6.30pm, (Jakarta time) and it was already dark. We went out to the wrong exit and ended up with the locals. It was quite freaky, cos the people there don’t really look pleasant. Some of them approached us and keep asking.

“Mau taksi?”….

We keep on saying no…. and walked away politely. The company driver was at the terminal 1 waiting for us, where else we were at the terminal 2. We called him from the phone service booth and waited for him. We then explained to him that we couldn’t find the exit out when we got our bags and was asked to exit at the terminal 2.

The journey to the hotel took us about 1 and half hours. By the time we arrive at the hotel. It was already 8.30pm. I had a shock when we arrive at the entrance gate of the hotel. Security people were there to check the car, around the car and underneath the car. Metal detector placed at the main entrance to check the bags and us. Yes.. I’ve read their website.. but experiencing it first hand was another thing.

When we check in, I asked the hotel staffs where is the nearest place that we can go and get local food. Guess what he said?

“Nearest and safest…. Place… hmmm…”


He totally freaked me out!, with that word that he had just said.

We ended up going to the hotel cafĂ© to grab a drink since my dear colleague didn’t want to eat anything. By the time we’re done it was already 10.00pm. Head back up to the hotel room, relax and tried to enjoy the room by my self.

The next day, I woke up by 5.45am. Rush up to get ready and grabbed some breakfast before the driver came to pick us up at 6.30am. Thank god it was already bright, if it were still dark I would have been in my sleepy mood. Arrived at the Indonesian office at 7.15am. Meeting… meeting… meeting…. Then head to the suppliers, by the time we were done with the suppliers, my legs were killing me…. The sun has set and it was time for dinner.

The driver was kind enough to bring us to the local mall. On the way there, my colleague couldn’t take the journey and he puked! Hahahah…. I guess the traffic and the jam plus the way the driver drives made him felf pukey (if there’s such word). After some Soto Ayam, I thought we could go back to the hotel and rest but I was wrong…… My colleague wanted to buy so souvenirs back to his family. Argghh… my feet was already killing me …. And you want to walk evern more!!??
How can I say no to him… Tried to walk, at the end… I told him that I’ll wait for him at the entrance where I can find a place to sit and rest.

I shouldn’t have worn the heels. And it was baby heels!! I guess I’m not a heel-walking GAL. My boss specifically told me that I wasn’t allowed to wear jeans and sneakers.

“Only proper office attire.” He said.

The next morning, I drag my self up after sleeping for 5 hours. My feet were still aching from the day before. I was so tempted to wear my comfortable sneakers out but was afraid that the bosses in Indonesia side would complain about our attire to my boss back home. So fine…. Heels again.

Double made sure that I’ve packed every thing, from yesterday night and checked out. Arrive at the office at 8.00am, slightly later then the day before. Meeting… meeting… meeting again.
Then head to another supplier before lunch. Manage to change to my comfortable sneakers. Kekeke…. Lunch was great compared to the day before where we have canteen food which I could barely sallow. Then it was time to do market research.

As usual, I planned to check in 2 hours before the flight. I was so looking forward to shop around the duty free area. Due to the traffic at Jakarta, we only manage to check in an hour before the flight. What a bummer! By the time we touch down at Malaysia, it was 9.30pm (Malaysian time).
My body was aching and calling for help. I was all tired and can’t wait to get back home to rest.

This trip is stressful, because of the jam, the people and the weather. Over all, it was a paid trip and it was a priceless experience. Muahahhaha…..

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


I’ve decided to take up photography seriously. Which means that I have to invest on a good DSLR.

Have just receive the issues of Digital Photography from Megalunatic ( and I can’t seem to put it down. Browsing throu it makes me wanna go out and get myself a DSLR, set up my own little studio and start shooting. Photography equipments are not cheap…. Geeshh….
And there’s so much to learn…. Got to start saving now… At the main time I guess I have to live with my PowerShot A95.

RM100 down and RM5600 to go…. WOooo Hhhoooo….

Thursday, May 18, 2006

my first trip

Finally got a chance to go on a business trip. A trip that is paid by the company.... No worries on or transportation.... Woo hoo….
Not that I’m complaining about the place that I’m about to adjourn in a weeks time.
But my first business trip to overseas, is to some INDUSTRIAL area at Jakarta Timur. I thought I would be stuck at the industrial area for nights. Lucky me, they have put us at the center of Jakarta. I think.
An hour or so from the PuloGadung.

But the ‘advices’ that I’ve been getting has not been very appealing..

“ Don’t go out at night alone.”
“ Don’t walk around alone. ”
“ Don’t do this…..”
“ Don’t do that….. “

Fine.. I thought to my self. Just stay close to my coll. Checked out the place that we were going to stay and this is what I found this on the hotel site…

-- Every precaution to safeguard our guests’ safety has been taken in conjunction with advice from leading security consultants.

Concrete barriers have been strategically placed on the driveway to slow vehicles and guests pass through a further security check and metal detector before entering the lobby. Lobby windows have been equipped with protective film.

Perimeter security, car park, employee and goods entrances are all monitored 24 hours and CCTV covers 32 points throughout the hote

Is it that bad there ??…… Now I’m freaked out….

Thursday, May 4, 2006


Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

Wednesday, May 3, 2006


I’m a very fickle and indecisive person. I can’t decide on my own and when I do… I have doubts on my decision. As I get older, it tends to get more difficult. And I tend to stay in the moment where I can just ignore my thoughts and feeling and hope that it will just disappear. But reality does come back and decisions have to be made. I’ll either be an impulsive decision maker or I’ll just let it sits there and hope that it will fly away… far far away.

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

crazy weekend

I’m a Swedish Girl
Originally uploaded by melisamok.

The weekend was a blast. Liz came up from Singapore. Suppose to go clubbing on Friday night but instead we hanged out at the hotel room and drank. We were acting crazy as if we had loads of liquor. And the thing is, we only had a glass of Malibu. When she’s around, everyone will laugh their heads out, weather they like it or not.

Saturday was another fulfilled day, thou I did regret cutting my hair.
Told Liz about Shawn’s style the day before and the girls decide to go to Peek A Boo to try out Shawn. As usual, he’s appointment is always full so we decide to go straight and check out weather he would be able to slot Liz in. Went to the shop at Taman Tun, and was disappointed to know that Shawn was in The Curve! Where we came from!!,,,, Bloody hell!!.....

“Since when he’s there?” I asked.
“Only until end of this month.”.. the girl said.

Ish Ish… that is what u get when u don’t call first.
So we decide to go treading first in Bangsar. Had Lunch then head back to the Curve.

“Shawn is fully booked. You mind trying someone else?”.. the girl behind the counter asked.

Since Liz was fine trying out someone else … JT just wanted to trim her hair…
Fine… trying to be adventures… I said okay without knowing who the hair stylist is going to be.

It’s been a while since I’ve let anyone touch my hair. Ever since I’ve tried out Shawn years back. I like his style and I trust him. Trust is very important when it comes to hair. They have to know what they are doing. How to improvise the hairstyle, to the look of the person.

The out come of my hair was not what I’ve expected!. It reminded me when my hair was growing from my dare daring shaving experience years back. Arrgghh...

Later in the night we head up to Friendster for dinner and shooting. Bastard was totally wasted at Pang’s bachelor night. Took a few pics while he was puking. Yuckss!! I can’t believe that I manage to snap it…. It totally gross me out when his ‘tap’ started pouring.

worshiping the toilet bowl
Originally uploaded by melisamok.

Liz did some crazy things to him when he was dropped dead. If only I can share the video clips…. LOL…

We left both of them in the hotel room and only God knows what happened after that!

We head down to Johor the next afternoon to shoot the bride’s side. Took and day trip cos there’s nothing much to do down there. Reach home at 4.30am. I’m getting sick of Johor and the journey there. Gosh, and I need to head down there in 2 weeks time again. HELP…….

Friday, April 21, 2006

with or without?

How do you tell if a person is prepared to become some ones wife or daughter in law?
I was told that you should imagine yourself living without that other person rather than being able to live with that person if you think that he/she is the one. I’m confuse…

Friday, April 14, 2006


Had a wonderful dinner with Mich yesterday night. Had dinner at Chilli's. Wanted to spend dear cousin of my, but freaking Diners card wasn’t accepted.

Got a call from them few weeks back.
“We realize that you have not been using your card for the pass 2 year. Is there any problem with the card?”

“Oh. No problem at all. Just didn’t need to use “ I replied.

“I see. Do you know that by using Diners you get loads of discounts in restaurants and on other stuffs as well. Plus, when you use your card to pump petrol you can accumulate points as well. Where else, other cards you can’t do that… “(Chilli's not included.. I guess.. )

“Ah .. I see… Really?”

“Yes… yes… I’ll send you some brochure and pamphlets… “

I didn’t want to use the Diners b’cos it’s a charge card. And why did I apply for it in the first place? Just call me dumb. I didn’t know that it was a charge card. On top of that, it was free.
After using it for a few months, after I got the card. I got freaked out. The interest that they charge. Woo hoo… amazing…

And why did I start using it again…? That’s b’cos I’m trying to just use one card where I’ll be force to pay every month. The thing with credit cards is that you just tend to pay the min. amount and you tell yourself you’ll pay the full amount the next month. And on top of that, you’re still be using the card in between. Just IMAGINE using that principal for 4 different credit cards… woo hoo….. It just keeps on increasing and increasing..
That’s what happening to me right now. So I’m trying to clear off every cent that I owe and just use the Diners where I’ll be force to pay every cent that I’ve used and for “emergency’ case. kekekeke....

So back to the paying for dinner, I had to apologize that I didn't have enuf cash to spend her dinner. Pai seh…. So she paid the balance which was almost half of it… I know.. it’s sad.. Pai seh…. Pai seh…

But I promised the next round, I would bring enuf cash and spend her dinner…

I had one of the most scariest nightmare last night. To me that is!.
I dreamed that my IBook caught fire!!!
MY IBOOK!!.. Tiny smoke came out from the keyboard… then I saw little sparks, I panic and I tried to blow off the sparks .. IT BECAME worst!.. Next thing I knew the whole thing was on fire… the IBook was melting right in my face and my tears started rolling down from my eyes.. Yes!! I’m freaking emotional when it comes to my IBOOK!...
My Baby….
Next thing I knew, I woke up because of the banging and frying from my back door neighbor.
I checked my Ibook in front of me and it was save and sound… took a glance at the time… 6.30am!!
Damn I’ve only sleep for the past 3 hours only… okay.. back to sleep…
Thank god it’s just a dream….

Thursday, April 6, 2006


Decide to buy some stuff from EBay… Well, actually my intention was to sell what my mom has painted. My mom started painting folk art recently. Will post some pictures soon… She managed to sell a couple of her works. I though of trying out ebay to see it she can make more money out of that rather then what she is doing rite now.

Anyways, registering to Ebay, lead me to PayPal.
As you can see, my latest insertion click on button on my right bottom page…
PayPal Donate. Will to except any amount of donation in order to upgrade my Flickr Account to Flickr Pro.

Yes.. I know it’s pathetic, but if you don’t try, you won’t know. Rite?
That’s one of my phrases in life.

Unfortunately, I can’t circulate this blog around ppl I know as I intend to keep this blog to myself and people that I don’t know. That would give me less restriction to talk about more stuffs….

So here you go….

Monday, April 3, 2006

Raw Fish

bill bill bill
Originally uploaded by melisamok.

Last Sat’s yoga class was a killer. I can still feel the pain on my back thigh now. The mussels are aching like ****… Anyways, to make up for the ‘heavy’ yoga session, we went to a Japanese buffet for dinner last Sat.

My first ever Japanese buffet. Had the most sashimi in my entire lifetime. Now I’m starting to freak myself up with the recent mails that I’ve receive about worms growing in the head of a Japanese man … Due to excess sashimi intake. Yes ! I like to freak myself up with all these stuffs. The buffet is pretty much worth the money. RM 44.90. Not much variety thou… but if you like fresh sashimi, tuna, butterfish, oyster… you might find that it will satisfy you.
Not to mention, the usual sushi and tempura. Yum yum..
Didn’t take any food pics.. but as usual… people pics…more on flickr.....

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


Was doing my usual blog reading when I stumble across this.

Dang! I’ve only conquered 1 % of the whole entire world. Yes! The tiny red dots that you can hardly see.
This is sad. Very SAD. VERY VERY SAD….

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


I so want to buy a the Canon EOS 20D now…
If only someone would sponsor me some cash. Or by winning the lottery and that’s if I go out and buy one.
LOL… only in my dreams.

Okay, I’ve enrolled myself at True Fitness in Taipan, around my area. Having regrets now. Have to pay another commitment now, but it’s for the best. Health wise.
Been longing to join back the gym for a while now. Since it’s on the way home, all the facilities are provided… so why not.
Swimming once a week isn’t doing much for my health. Gotta boost up my immune system… sick of getting sick…
Yoga, hard core work out. Here I come!!

Oh.. I’ve been told by my coll, that I hardly smile to the cleaning lady.
What the ….. !!?? I smile!! I wish her every morning… and every time I see her around… well, sometimes…. But I smile!!
I’m a friendly person and I smile when I walk around the office, smile my way to the pantry….. even to the loo ….. I SMILE!...
*BIG SMILE* Well, you can’t please everyone…. Can you?

Can anyone out there borrow me a Canon EOS 20D to play around till I get one on my own??...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


The past week has been extremely mind-boggling. Due to some problems that was going on with “ someone” and on top of that things were about to change from now onwards to that “ someone”.

KY and I went for a short holiday 2 weeks ago. A day after we came back, we found out that one of our friend’s parents who went to China for holiday had met an accident. Apparently, they were on their way down from one of the hills and the bus break wasn’t working.
His mother didn’t make it. While his dad was in a very critical condition. His left shoulder blade and ribs were broken, his back spine was injured while his right leg was punctured from the bamboo sticks.

Thank god, they manage to bring him back on a private jet. As what I’ve heard, he might not make it if he were to be treated there. There’s a huge/mind-bogling story behind it, but I shall keep it to my dear old self.

On top of that, things in the office were not going to smoothly. Every job was urgent, looking at the bright side, I’ll be getting extra cash this month, thanks to the overtime. Kekeke.

To add it on to my little excitement for the week, the small little ants were back. I hardly eat in the room. Was trying to find where did the ants come from and at the end I decided to do the whole spring-cleaning thingy in the room. I thought that I finally got rid of the pests and would have wonderful beauty sleep during the weekends.
No….. they came back! I’ve cleaned up everything!!.. the sides, the corners, everywhere!!!... And they came back…!...
Been observing the little pests, and I realize that they were coming from outside through the windows in my room. ARGHH…… I shall hunt down the little pests headquarters’, spray and pour down tons of ants’ killer power….

Die you little pests!.... DIE!!!....

Wednesday, March 1, 2006


It’s amazing how sensitive some people can be. How do you please everyone at the same time? Please tell me!?

Back to reflecting what I want to do with my life. Had a conversation with JT yesterday night. She has proposed something to me that was hard to refuse. A chance to travel and venture to the land unknown out of Malaysia. Yes, traveling back and forth, working on A&P stuffs. How can I refuse that? There’s one problem thou, sometimes people then to have to much faith in my capabilities. And I’m afraid that I might just … disappoint them.
I guess I have yet to instill the confidences in me, in the things that I do. Sometimes I wonder what do they see in me that I can’t see in my self.

One question that she did ask me. And I guess reality hasn’t hit me yet. Or has it!???..... hhmm….

“Do you think you can propone your wedding plans? Till you’re 30?”
“hmm… why can’t I get married and do what you’re proposing.?? …” I answered.

“it’s difficult to have long distance relationship…. I don’t believe in long distances relantionships and the traveling that you’ll be doing … and blah blah blah…..”

Hhmmm… I do agree that it’s quite difficult for a married couple to have a long distance relationship… but if it’s meant to be.. then its meant to be…
Don’t you think so?..

Being in a relationship and being married is a totally different story. Marriage is commitment, respect, responsibilities and…… a lot more of those stuffs… kekekeke…

Every action has its consequence…. I do believe that the marriage would work out…
And it’s not like I’ll be doing this forever…. I’ll do it till I’m 30.
Hmm…. That would leave me about 3 more years….

Friday, February 17, 2006

surfing bug

My surfing bug has hit me again. Yes, tried it and love it. Tried it during collage time with an ex. Stopped it after breaking up with him… hahaha..
Was not really good at it anyway. But I like the rush and excitement when you’re on the board. Everything seems possible at that time.

It hit me again, when I met up with an old friend recently and every time we meet up, he would tell me where he’s gone surfing and his trips. Every time that happens, I would enviously listen to his stories and deep down inside I wish I could have his passion for surfing to travel around Malaysia to go surfing every weekend.
I love traveling … and I love surfing. But I can’t afford to do that every other week due to financial situation. You know what I mean? I live in a city, and traveling to the nearest surf able beach here takes about 3-4 hours drive. I know it’s just an excuse! I could always follow dear ‘ hard core surfer dude’ every week… I guess what I’m afraid is that when I do take it up, I’ll be hook to it again. That would be hell of a one sport to give up.
And on top of that I want some girlfriends to do this with me… !!!
For now I guess I just have to day dream about it…..

Friday, January 27, 2006

wedding assignment

Originally uploaded by melisamok.

Recently I did my first assignment as the photographer for a friend’s brother’s wedding luncheon. They knew that I was interested in taking pictures. So there’s you go, she said. Here is your opportunity to snap all the way. I could feel the pressure was on me.

"I don’t want to mess up your brothers wedding picture! No no no…"

“Don’t worry, they would be doing their professional ‘studio’ wedding pictures.” she said. The wedding luncheon thing is just for you to snap snap snap… HA HA…
“Okay…” Still feeling a little bit uncomfortable. But still….

I don’t mind snapping pictures on the day it self. But being the ONE and only photographer there would be a real pressured for me.

I want to take pictures that were different from the others. You get what I mean? Being the one and only person who is taking pictures would mean that I would have to take the standard pictures like everyone else’s wedding luncheon/ceremony picture and not having enough time to snap it differently. I’m still learning to take shoot correctly and knowing myself I would be all stress out trying to take a perfect picture.

the wedding lucheon
Originally uploaded by melisamok.

Looking back at the pictures that I’ve taken, I could have done a better job if I could have calm myself down and made sure the aperture and shutter were rite and to direct the couple to pose differently.

Half of the shots were a disappointment to me.
Good pose but bad lighting,
Good lighting but it turned out blurred. ArGh …

Mostly the fast moving ones…
Going to the Brides house then the Chinese tea ceremony, then back to the Grooms place to have the grooms’ side of the tea ceremony. Then the families shoot. Then going around the house to find subjects that were different and things that the couple would enjoy looking back in a few years to come.

I realize that the pictures that look decent enough for the eye of a photographer were the pictures that I had time to select and adjust the rite aperture and shutter speed ….
Making sure that shoot look good.

I did enjoy the whole scene thou. If only there was a pro-photographer to learn from during the wedding luncheon. Kekeke…
It was a great experience. I can’t wait to go to another wedding to snap snap snap…. For the time being I would have to keep on practicing my snapping round the house.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Lately, there’s either news about a blog, or a blogger or about blogging in the newspaper. What is it about blogs,bloggers and blogging. Blogging is a freedom of speech, an online journal and yet it’s a self marketing tool.

Some blogger got fired after blogging about his company recently. Apparently, stated in the newspaper, blogging about activities in the company or about your boss can really get you in trouble. This is because some companies have their own secret hidden ‘master plan’ to conquer the world. Kekeke… you know what I mean…. So just be very careful what you write/blog on YOUR online journal/freedom of speech/self marketing site.
Or just use the old fashion way..… the little book called the ‘diary’. I miss the little book. If only they have the undo, cut, paste and redo button on it… I’ll be the first customer…

Online journal, freedom of speech or self marketing.
It depends on how you look at it. I my self is not a true blogger. I don’t ‘blog’ everyday. I’m more to a ‘blog reader’. I setup a blog just to put my frustration and thoughts down so that I can look back in time to see how I go thou ‘this life’ , hopefully with a smile on my face.

To other bloggers, it’s more like an self advertising to them. I’m cool with that idea. Marketing yourself is part of life. Weather you believe it or not., you need to market youself.
But having ‘banners’ with your pic on it in every single degree of the site is way to much for me. I do give credit to bloggers who goes all the way out to advertise them self on the net.

I just came across one blog an hour ago. I just can’t get the blog out of my head. I really have to give credit to the “blogger”. How do I describe the look and feel of the blog…? Hmm….
It really looks like … (how do I put it) a company/business portal website….? Where you get a lot of banners, icons to promote it’s company /business. You get what I mean?

Hhmm…. Arrgghhh…
Okay.. more directly, not like anyone is reading this blog… hm…(I’m like really writing a little online diary here… cool… ) okay.. back to the subject…
There… I’ve said it…. I’ve been staring at the ceiling like a freaking idiot trying to figure out what was wrong with the site… and yet I’m totally okay with the self-marketing/advertising self thingy. Yes, it looks more like a porn site.

A salute to the blogger that cannot be named. Woo hoo…